Doom Patrol S04E07-08: 'Orqwith Patrol / Fame Patrol'

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The end of the Doom Patrol begins...
by Chuck Duncan

Doom Patrol is finally back after an egregiously long hiatus of about ten months! At least our friends at MAX didn't just ship the final episodes off to Tubi like they did with The Nevers. But with that little grievance aside, it's wonderful to finally have this group of misfit superheroes back, even if it is only for four more weeks. This week MAX dropped two of the final six episodes to hasten the team's demise, so let's take a look at them in order.

EPISODE 7: ORQWITH PATROL

The first episode of the week picks up right where the last one left off, with Rita and Laura (aka Madame Rouge) apparently trapped in the Ant Farm right after Rita may have possibly smushed Wally Sage out of existence, causing her to have a bit of a psychological meltdown as Laura frantically tries to grab all of Wally's drawings off the walls and get the two out of there before the Death Squad arrives. Death Squad! With Rita not offering any solutions, Laura finally comes up with an idea ... and she transforms herself into a rolling suitcase with a blobby Rita inside. And it works as the Death Squad salutes General Samsonite as the luggage passes them in the hallway. Now they just have to get back to the manor and try to figure out how to get everyone's longevity back.

They learn once back home, thanks to a 'stupid note', that everyone is in Orqwith. Laura wants to go help their friends but Rita ... would rather go to her room to quietly expire. And no matter how hard Laura tries, even wheeling a liquor cart into her room, Rita is not budging so it's up to Laura to decipher Wally's drawing and figure out how to create a portal to Orqwith.

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In Orqwith, Vic and his friend Deric are being taken by the Scissormen, and have found that the newly arrived Jane and Cliff are of zero help having been captured themselves. Put in a cell, Deric tries to get the team to be more proactive, but Jane thinks it's hilarious that a 'normie' like him is trying to tell them how to handle this situation. But he takes matters into his own hands anyway and uses his magic pen and paper to create a rock that smashes the guards and gives them freedom. Cliff and Jane go off to find Jane's longevity -- and Larry, if they have time -- while Vic and Deric actually go to find Larry (oddly, no one has mentioned Rama). Their path is a little more difficult as more and more Scissormen descend on them, but Deric again uses a drawing to create a weapon -- an arm laser cannon, very reminiscent of Vic's old tech and something Vic is very reluctant to put on. He tells Deric he should do it and Deric is thrilled that he gets a taste of what it's like to be a real superhero. Vic's weapon of choice -- a flaming sword. Deric finds out that it takes a little getting used to being a superhero as the recoil from his first laser cannon shot throws him backwards several feet. Vic is able to take out the first group of Scissormen, and Deric finally gets the hang of it with some guidance from Vic on his stance. With the Scissormen vanquished, it's time to find Larry.

Unfortunately for Jane and Cliff, not all of the Scissormen have been destroyed. They are captured and taken to the lair where Immortus will be 'born'. Jane is a little annoyed that the guy they're facing is Wally Sage, but he's thrilled to have Cliff Steele in his presence because Cliff is the final piece of the longevity puzzle. Wally explains the whole Immortus Project and how Niles Caulder was behind it -- "fucking Niles Caulder", they reply -- and Wally dangles Niles' immortality necklace before them, assuring Cliff that if he touches it he can see what his future will hold, particularly where his grandson Rory is concerned. Jane does all she can to talk him out of falling for Wally's schtick, but Cliff can't help himself. As he reaches out to touch the necklace, Jane tries to swat his hand away but they both end up touching it and are transported to ... a grocery store, where Cliff's daughter suddenly appears, frantic that she can't find Rory and accusing Cliff of losing him. Jane tries to reason with Cliff that none of this is real, and while he knows it isn't he needs to see what his future holds. She tells him to at least swing by the housewares aisle and pick up a knife for them to use when they get back, but he tells her to grab a jar of pickles because it's heavy. They then hear a child singing on the P.A. system and find a grown Rory at a cash register. Cliff is stunned and when Rory sees him and shouts 'Grandpa', Cliff takes off his oven mitt and reaches out to touch Rory for the first time with his new hand. Except Wally ain't gonna let him get that far until he gets what Cliff has, and they are snapped back to their reality in Orqwith. An emotionally drained Cliff agrees to let Wally take his longevity so he can live the rest of his life -- potentially free from his Parkinsons -- with Rory. Jane is furious but has no choice now but to simply give up.

Vic and Deric do find Larry, and Vic tells Deric to use the classic superhero line he's been dying to say, "Come with us if you want to live", but Larry says no. He and Keeg have seen the future and it's bad, real bad, and Keeg would rather stay there and ride it out instead of going back to reality and Larry isn't about to desert any more of his children. But they hear a loud rumble and see a bright purple light -- Cliff's longevity being drained -- and Larry reluctantly decides he'd better help out.

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What they don't know is that a very tipsy Rita and Laura have arrived after bonding over their questionable behavior (Laura used to turn herself into a beaver and insert Rita's toothbrush into her 'wee beaver beaver', and Rita admits to killing three people, accidentally, and having no remorse so she's basically a serial killer), completing the portal, and brining the liquor cart along with them to dole out cocktails to everyone. Seeing them as a distraction, Jane snaps into action and tries to fight off some of the Scissormen but suddenly there's a flash of electricity that stops everyone in their tracks -- it's Casey, whom Wally is surprised to see since he never gave her life after drawing her. And right behind her is Dorothy. Casey tries to talk her father Torminox out of reviving Immortus but it's too late. The process has begun with Cliff's longevity added to the mix. Jane joins Casey and Dorothy, and they suddenly find themselves encased inside of a giant bubble, as do Cliff, Laura and Rita, and Deric, Vic and Larry. Deric has actually drawn them as a means of protection and not a moment too soon as the process to give Immortus life is complete and a figure walks out of the chamber.

It's not the monster everyone expected, it's 'fucking Isabel Feathers', Rita's nemesis from the Cloverton Players who was playing 'Blob Lady' in the theatre's production of Our Town, letting out a whale of a yell. I don't think anyone saw that coming.

EPISODE 8: FAME PATROL

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The result of Isabel's/Immortus' yell was ... the destruction of Orqwith and the deaths of Wally, Torminox, Dr. Janus and the remaining Scissormen. It also left a massive crater in the ground just about four miles from Cloverton. And as Isabel stumbles to town, the survivors who were safely encased in those bubbles have several ideas on what to do ... or not do. Rita, visibly much older, just wants to eliminate Isabel. The others don't really seem to care if she is or isn't Immortus because they're getting older and nearer to death. Deric just wants to Uber back to Detroit to check on his family. Casey is in a daze after losing her father, unprepared to deal with her new human emotions, but at least she has Dorothy to lean on. But Laura notices something odd about Isabel -- she will quickly fly into a rage and then somehow rewinds the scene and alters her behavior. Laura is the only one who seems to notice this as everyone else gets a reset.

It happens again when they return to the manor and watch Isabel on a local chat show where the once-thought-dead local is now very much alive. At one point during the interview her voice is distorted and she talks about the destruction of the planet but resets and it's all sunshine and rainbows again. But Laura noticed, and she can't convince anyone else that she just experienced something odd. But they do learn that there will be a parade in Isabel's honor. Rita still wants to murder Isabel but everyone else thinks she's harmless. Cliff suddenly remembers he left a little something in the fridge and let forth with a litany of 'fucks' when the butt he was supposed to kill was gone. But, hey, does anyone want ice cream?

Jane and Larry go back to their rooms. On the way, Jane finds herself in a tunnel of The Underground but she is lost. Casey comes up behind her in the tunnel to see if she can help Jane, but when she snaps back to reality Jane is weirded out and angry that this person she doesn't even know was in her head. Casey has no idea what Jane is talking about, but decides to leave her alone. For the moment. Because by the time Jane gets to her room, Casey is there, having arranged all of Jane's puzzle pieces into random piles, further angering her. Casey tells her what Dorothy told her about the pain and emotions she was feeling, that it means you're alive. Jane dismisses her fortune cookie bullshit, and just lashes out at Casey whom she points out isn't even real. Jane's not real, none of this is real. Her harsh words have wounded Casey but on her way out of the room she tells Jane the puzzle piles aren't random, they're arranged by color.

In Larry's room, he's feeling defeated but he suddenly hears a voice -- it's Rama, who was destabilized into a cloud by Keeg accidentally. Rama tells Larry that it's possible his radiation could restore Rama so Larry takes the bandages from his hands and sticks them into the cloud. Suddenly a hand appears and Larry grabs hold and after a few minutes Rama is whole again. The two embrace and fall to the floor, completely spent.

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Cliff, meanwhile, is feeling sorry for himself so Dorothy tries to help him by offering him Niles' old wheelchair to help him get around. Cliff unloads on the girl that he hated Niles in life and death, and now everyone hates him for giving up his longevity, so the last thing he wants is to tool around in Niles' wheelchair to remind himself and everyone else how much both of them are hated. Cliff also informs Dorothy that in case she hadn't noticed, he's an asshole so she's better off not trying to help him. Cliff walks out but then gets stuck at the bottom of a stairway. Dorothy pulls up in the wheelchair and has it out with Cliff. If he doesn't need help then walk up the stairs. Cliff says he likes it there at the bottom. Dorothy tells him to stop pitying himself because there are people who care about him, who love him, he just has to let them. She finally strikes a chord with him and he decides that they should get out and go to the parade.

Cliff bangs on Larry's door and tells him to put his bandages on so they can go to the parade but Larry tells him he doesn't want to go. Rama is puzzled by this because Larry keeps talking now about how little time he has left so why wouldn't he accept an invitation from his friend to go to a parade? Larry is still wrapped up in his head about what will happen to Keeg once he's dead. He knows Rama can't take care of him, which Rama finds humorous that Larry's already considered him to be an adoptive parent, but Larry didn't mean it that way ... or did he? Rama tells him to stop focusing on this right now and go to the parade while he stays there and continues rejuvenating. Out in another hallway, Casey is sitting alone when Jane approaches. She doesn't say much but she's obviously there to make amends for being such a raging bitch with Casey. Fences are mended and they are off to the parade as well.

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Rita, Vic and Laura are already at the staging area after having appeared with Isabel on the chat show, her second time, and Laura noticing again the odd reset after Isabel screamed at her to tell Rita to stop stealing her spotlight. Vic remembers nothing except that he's bored watching Isabel and Rita talk, but he and Laura are soon called over to join them on the couch. At the parade staging area, Isabel is surrounded by fans when the mayor of Cloverton approaches the superhero trio, calling them the Dune Patrol, and when Isabel sees them getting all of the attention she snaps and resets again so it's she who introduces the fans to the trio. Laura is still trying to figure out what is going on. She later confronts Isabel at a gazebo, calling her Immortus, which flips her switch again. How dare she use her real name?! But before she completely loses her cool she resets to the point where Laura first approached her, but knowing what was going to be said, Isabel makes a quick exit to get to the parade.

As the 4th Occasional Rescue Day Parade gets underway, the Doom Patrol have their own float and Larry is surprised they have so many fans. Things are going well until they all start sharing some secrets and Cliff blurts out that he may have allowed the butt to escape. Jane nearly knocks him off the float when she hears this, but the commotion draws the attention of Isabel. Laura runs up to the float and warns them all that they need to get off the float and get to safety because something is very wrong with Isabel. Before they realize what's happening, Isabel lets out another massive scream.

Has she destroyed Cloverton in the process? We'll find out next week.

New episodes of Doom Patrol stream Thursdays on Max.

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